Yes, we know that husbands and wives should never hide anything from each other, but there are some complaints, sentences and words that are just hurtful and should never come out of your mouth no matter how angry or upset you are. Remember that these words can never be taken back even after saying you’re sorry. Keep these must-not-say matters in mind and do your best never to say them to your husband.
- Comparing your marriage to others
The grass is usually always greener on the other side of the fence, so you might get tempted to compare your marriage with others by saying something like “why can’t you just be like her husband, helping her with take care of the kids?” or “my friend’s husband bought her a new diamond ring, it looks really nice.” Every marriage is different and that seemingly perfect couple also experience marital problems sometimes.
- Insults to their friends or family
No matter how you despise someone in his family or one of his friends, never say anything rude about them. Instead of saying, “I just can’t stand your mom,” explain the reason why you feel such way. Surely, he will understand and even help you solve the issue. As much as possible, you wouldn’t want your husband to feel like he needs to pick sides.
- Mentioning ex-lovers
Even if you do not compare them with your ex, simply mentioning them already is hurtful or at least uncomfortable to your spouse. Don’t ever mention your past lover in front of your husband, nor say things like “oh I know that place I used to go there with the man I dated before.” Focus on your current relationship and concentrate on creating more memories, rather than looking back to your moments with your past lover(s).
- Anything that makes him feel stupid
Your husband may be forgetful, may not be good at cooking or doesn’t have good sense of humor, but you don’t have to be critical about it. Saying things like “how can you not know this?” or the thing we easily and loosely say “that’s a stupid idea” can affect his self-esteem. Instead of scolding him, find solutions together and focus on his strengths.
- Belittling his career or hobbies
Respect is key to a happy marriage. Saying offensive things that attacks their passion, like their career and hobbies, make them feel impotent. While you may not always, but your husband’s career and hobbies play a major part of his individuality and even masculinity. So, attacking these two aspects of his life may offend him and his whole individuality.
Keeping a marriage happy is all about good communication. Work through the challenges together whether scarring anyone for life with hurtful words.