As parents, we should not have favourites because every child is special in their own ways. We do not want a child drifting apart because we favour the other. No child is the same. Given this, the challenge here is to deal with different personality types. Dealing with different personality types is not easy here in Singapore knowing that things constantly change but we have to be persistent and positive.
All along, we heard some researches saying that birth order determines our child’s personality. We have to forget this and think that the order does not influence our child’s personality traits. We should focus to things that we can control. If we determine and learn how to handle the personality types of our children, our days will surely be smoother and better.
Here are some steps in handling the personality of our children:
- Step 1: Identify the demeanour of the child. Our children have different demeanours and we have to identify it so we will know how to proceed. Our easy-going children will prove easier to potty train than those who are fearful. For our fearful children, they seem to be stubborn and unwilling to participate. This kind of personality will only encourage us to join them and will be more resistant as time goes by. We should not over stimulate them.
- Step 2: We will not have problems with our easy-going children but if we have a fearful child, sending him to school will be challenging. We have to plan ahead and make it stick. For example, days before leading to preschool, we can introduce him to the idea and assure him that we will be there all throughout.
- Step 3: We have to stay away from labels. Our child may hear bad things about him outside but when he is home, we should not emphasize it. If we label him, he will feel stigmatized and he will only prove to the world that he is really that. Labelling is damaging.
- Step 4: Appreciate them. No matter what they are, they are God’s gifts so we should treasure and appreciate them. If we have a fearful child, we will feel jealous to other moms with easy-going ones but it does not mean that our children are not unwanted.
Understanding our children may be hard despite the same genes and blood but a harmonious relationship is possible. Let us check on our children and never let them stray. Our children are unique and we should not try to change them but with the right empowering and encouraging, our relationship will be fruitful.